About the Astral Registry

The Astral Registry has preserved impossible properties across realms for millennia — or so its Keepers insist, and nobody has yet produced paperwork to the contrary. From the marble vaults of the Celestial archive to the iron ledgers of the Infernal Dominion, the Registry records claims to places that cannot be visited, cannot be surveyed, and absolutely cannot be repossessed.

Each registration is a keepsake: a museum-quality certificate, a set of coordinates fixed forever in a fictional ledger, and a story to hand to someone you love. People register parcels for birthdays, anniversaries, apologies, graduations, and the particular joy of telling a friend they now own waterfront on the Lake of Fire.

The Registry's only firm rule is honesty about its own nature — which brings us, with unusual solemnity, to the fine print below.